I was schooling Tye today.
Our kiddo that has some cognitive delays to kick to the curb. And, a happy percentage of his delays have been conquered and kicked!
But.
Today.
He was struggling to sound out the word "man".
I was taken by surprise I guess.(this was one of the first times I'd intently worked on reading with Tye for awhile .... others in the family had been helping him while I'd been fighting PTSD, etc).
He'd been doing some writing and his retention was fantastic....I guess I assumed this meant his brain had made some invisible strides in regards to the act of reading.
Sigh.
Not So Much.
I tried to silently wipe the tears away as he continued "M". "A". "N". (He says the letter's names, not the sounds unless prompted too. 'Gluing' the sounds together to make a word...Well, he is unable to do this without help. He knows some words and names because he has memorized them.)
I could not stop the rush of tears.
What if he won't ever read? What does this say for his life? Someone who cannot read is 20 steps behind all the time. In everything.
I gave Tye some paper to doodle on and went into Jim's office and just had a good, quiet, cry.
I feel sad for Tye.
I know we are doing all we can. I know we are serving him well by schooling him at home. I know that giving him a secure, loving environment is, truly, more important than his "reading" due to the terribly rough start he had in life.
But...I'm still in a knot over his inability to read.
My prayer is that by age 10 he is reading at least basic stuff. SURELY that's possible?!!
He's improved in so many other areas (IE: he can almost follow an entire movie plot now, he can listen to a story being read to him and understand most of it, he knows how to write all of his letters -if he can memorize it he is getting better at it-, he is taking piano lessons, he is slowly progressing at Tae Kwon Do, etc).
But, "reading" has not come to him yet.
So, I got myself together and went back out to where Tye was sitting and took up the reigns of teaching him, again, how to "squish" sounds together to make a word. He looked at me like I had two heads...but kept trying to do what I asked of him. (I have taught him this same 'idea' for over 2 years now. His Expressive/Receptive Language delay keeps his brain from 'retaining & understanding' without an amazing amount of repetition.)
But, I couldn't keep the tears from coming back. SUCH SADNESS for my boy.
He asked me what was wrong and I said I had a headache. I think the white lie was justified.
As much as a special needs child must fight to talk, read, improve.....so much his parents.
A special needs kiddo does not get to a better place just by people siting back and watching. It takes time, patience, and a fortitude that you do not automatically "get" when you are given your child that has unique needs.
Tye, Jim, and myself have grown "up" together in so many ways.
Sometimes the growing pains "hurt".....
Today....it hurt.
Tye's Momma,
Andrea
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:'( that's tough. I believe he will be phenomenal at reading one day. Wouldn't it just be so like God for him to end up being Jim's right hand guy and be an author too??? Never know... Believing for the seemingly impossible!!!
I so get this, Andrea. Val is 12 yrs old and can read at a 2nd grade level - slowly and painstakingly. He's in school but here at home, I'm working with him to work on his speed of reading. Math is difficult for him as well. Sort of. He can do the math one day, but the next, he has to get taught all over again. Same for rules. It's so hard to think that this boy, who wants so much to grow up, get married and have children, just MIGHT not be able to do that. :-( Of course, we don't tell him that because I believe God can do the impossible, but sometimes I wonder if Val isn't going to be our forever child. And my heart just aches for him.
Oh Andrea.. my tears just flowed with your tears. I have zero idea how to help- other than to sincerely offer my prayers and love to you all! So I am going to add Tye to my prayer list and really cover him! You ARE doing all you can- I know that and you know that too! BIG FAT MOMMA HUGS!!!! XO
Andrea,
That must be so hard!! I can see how the tears came...such a test of patience and perseverance, when it seems like you're up against a constant uphill battle.
I really do hope and pray that the reading will come for him soon. He has made such great progress in so many other areas it may just take him a bit more time with this one, but will get there in his time. He is in such a supportive, loving and caring environment that you and Jim are giving him...that must be a huge plus and the best place for him to be right now.
Keep pressing on Andrea and will pray that you'll have strength, perseverance and wisdom to know the best ways forward for Tye. And pray what Amy says in her comment may be right...nothing is impossible with God and never give up!
Love Anna x
LearningRX....my friend's son is 14yrs old and just started to read. His mom has been homeschooling him and trying to teach him to read x 9yrs,. God sent her to LearningRX...within 3 weeks he reads...yes 1st grade stuff but he reads!
I took my daughter ( adopted from Russia) and she jumped a grade in reading and comprehension..Memory is still a problem though.
I do not work there or have any interest other than it works...they train the brain. Hope this helps a bit...Hang in there,you are doing a wonderful job.
Marianne
I have to constantly remind myself that I am responsible for the "input" and God is responsible for the results. It sounds like you and Jim are giving the best possible "input". I can't wait to see what God does with it!!
I am reminded of when my son was 2 - he didn't have a voice. When I would try to get him the services I felt he needed (like a teacher to help us with sign language!), I would get asked when he would get a voice. The ENT could not answer that. She did not know. Frustrating! One day, I was at a ladies retreat and we were encouraged to "let go" of something and place it on the alter. With tears running down my face and sobs racking my body, I went forward to the alter and placed a stone upon it with the words in my heart, "God, it is ok if Daniel never has a voice." I realized that I was holding onto the potential of a voice like an idol. God wanted me to accept Daniel for who he was not who I wanted him to be. I share this with you because I can relate to grieving for our kids. Grieving for our dreams that may or may not come true. Now, I believe that God will bring about the results you are seeking in Tye, I believe that he will read. In HIS time. Daniel gained a voice at the age of 3 1/2. His vocal quality is not great, he sounds a bit rough and gravelly. He does not have the ability to get terribly loud so it can be hard to hear him when there is background noise. But, it is a voice. And for that, I praise the Lord.
Well....
Now I'm crying again from your words of encouragement.
I'm looking into LearningRx. TY Marianne.
Aunt Laura - Tye was 2.25 yrs old and Aven was 9 mos when we moved to Guatemala and had her forever.
THANK YOU for giving me the courage to open his school books again today.
Andrea
This made me cry, too. My youngest has many developmental delays, too, and it's just a hard road. I can feel your frustration. Surely it will get better for us both - just not on our time table. Bless you!
I'm with you, Girl. We have finally gotten Bryce on the right track (he was officially diagnosed with ADD) and got him a fantastic OT in Franklin that we LOVE!! It just takes time and LOTS and LOTS of patience. Chin up!
My sister is a special education resource teacher at an early learning center. If you'd like, I could ask her if she has any tips or resources to recommend to you. Let me know. It sounds like you are doing a great job though. Keep up the good work! I'm sure it will pay off!
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