"Chase, you know you can call your birthmom anytime you want, right?"

(In this video I discuss finding Chase's Russian birthparents, a bit about adoption parenting, and a beautiful verbal exchange that happened between my "Sunshine Boy" [Chase, age 15] and myself the other day involving his birthmomma.)

[okay...I promised pix in video but...they will be here soon. I really cannot wait to show you what our master bathroom looked like the weeks leading up to Christmas ;)]

I think you can tell I am a smidge tired tonight via the video. (lot of annoying anxiety last few days)

Soooo....I might just tackle the "fun Christmas moments captured forever"  ...tomorrow :) K? thanks...I know you are just holding you breath for them (wink).

I hope something in this video resounded with somebody. 

I hope it emboldens people who have not adopted to ask GOOD questions to adoptive parents (without their kiddos around initially) on how they parent after having adopted, or to just show an interest--acknowledging that it IS a different but amazing path versus being in  "the pregnancy club".

[For the record: I am in BOTH of the 'exclusive-you-only-understand-it-if-you've-given-birth- pregnancy club' AND the 'exclusive-you-can't-understand-the-love-you-can-have-towards-an-adopted-child-till-you-have-actually-adopted club.'

  As a result, let me clarify and shock some people...the CLUBS ARE THE SAME MOMMAS! sheesh. 

Each path ends in a treasured child and each path has huge pitfalls and huge highs...We Mommas need to stop smacking on each other with these types of subtle 'club conversations' 

If you listen...I even did copped the 'exclusive adoption mom' club junk when I was talking about how letting Chase's birthmom know he was well and loved and how that sort of gave me a feeling of permission from her...but I said "if you are an adoptive mom I think you could relate". I could have phrased that much less "exclusively", kwim?  

I KNOW you Mommas know what I mean....'Oh my labor was drug-free. Oh you can't understand true love until you love someone else's child. Oh, I was in horrific labor of 258 days!
Oh, adoption means I'm a really amazing Mom.

WE gotta stop that junk. It's a waste of time. Sure ... ya gotta talk about your journey...I LOVE talking about how our family came together -obviously!- but there's no need to try to 'trump' the last gal who just spoke about her 5,983 reconstructive stitches she had to have after giving birth or that 'well our adoption cost $24,000...Yours cost $50,000? Are you sure it was legal. vomit]

Uh...Where was I? Oh. Yes. The video ;0) 

oh my Andrea. You are a trip. (did I just talk to myself on my blog? I think I should mention that in my next therapy session.)

OKAY! BACK TO THE VIDEO!!!

Maybe the video reminded someone that just raising kids - in general! - is like running a marathon with blinders on ... cuz doesn't if truly feel that way sometimes?

And, as I said in the video,  that we all are better if we TALK about things and love on each other...through the fun times, the sad times, the confusing times, and the special moments ...

Let me know if the video tugged at ya or something...I'd like to hear that it did a bit. Or that it mighta given ya food for thought for friends that have adopted, etc.

CUZ... Ya know how I asked you all if my "transparency-blogging" thing was good or overboard in my last post?

Well....

I've gotten plenty of good feedback that, at least for ME, transparency is the ONLY way to blog and I am staying committed to remain as such....

.......even if it scares people. 

BOO!

Andrea

PS Okay...I'm back here after chewing on that video for a bit. 

The person in that video is someone the "old" Andrea would NEVER have posted.

'Old' (pre-PTSD, pre-therapy) Andrea felt the need to always be "on",  to be very witty or silly to compensate for you taking the time to watch me on a video...because the story I told, though beautiful to me, may -in my jacked-up brain- not have been "enough" to justify your time....

So I would have felt the need.... (and do right now though I'm fighting this irrational need/thought process by TALKING about it right here right now!) .....to add in some add'l silly kid quips, or I would have pushed through and posted some fun pictures even though I'm exhausted.


After mentally chewing on this video (in which I look tired, jumble my works, am obviously fighting PTSD/anxiety...you can see it in my eyes and the circles under them ;) I am SO PROUD of myself for keeping it on here. 


And NOW I feel even better because I came back and 'told you' all what was eating away at me ...thoughts like "The video was not 'catchy' enough" [which is ridiculous because I talked about telephoning my adopted son's Russian birthmom for heck's sake!] or "You look SO pale and tired...Delete it and redo it tomorrow after you are home from church and look better" .....


Soooo....brain is still 'jacked' but TALKING helps SO much. 


SOOOOO.....talk to me :) smile