.... Awe dang...I said it'll "just be pictures" in the title but did you really believe that?!
That idea lasted all of 23 seconds :)
So.
Adoption rox and all but it also hurts.
[by the way...I have now finished composing this post...and just doing it made my heart feel better and my brain more relaxed...THANK you for being a part of my blog...okay...back to reading and there are like..1,000 pictures ;]
It has hurt alot this week as I have had a crying Tye in my room.... saying"I miss my China Mommy"... asking"Is she okay?"
The first rule in adoption education: Do.Not.Lie.
BUT...How can I tell Tye, who is cognitively delayed and struggles with abstract ideas, that I do not know for sure his "ChinaMommy" is okay. He would turn into a human puddle I think.
So. I lie.
What would you do?! What SHOULD I do?
Any advice greatly appreciated.
I reassure him, again, that she is happy, she loves him, she misses him. He has alligator tears at this point.
Part of me thinks..."Is this child doing this to manipulate me?" because Tye is the GRAND MANIPULATOR folks...it is quite brilliant actually. And impressive. And annoying.
But....I sense that he is not and has true concern over her well-being at this moment.
Suddenly, he says, "We go to China in 2 years when I am 11 ?" uh? huh? what? You know Math now and you just did it in your head...?! Maybe I shouldn't being lying to him? egads it is HARD to know the answers...
Seriously, sometimes I feel like I only know a fraction of this kiddo.
I assure him that we will go back to China (we've always planned too). Though, I do not promise "when he's 11"... but then he said, "But no Aven cuz she screamed too much". Gotta love some honesty.
It hurts to see Tye's heart confused. It gives me mild cardiac arrests when he asks these penetrating questions because I do NOT KNOW what his brain will hold, confuse, jumble, or understand.
It hurts.
Today hurts too.
It is "Story Noelle's" birthday.
She is the Guatemalan daughter that we never got to bring home.
Is a very long story....And I really cannot write it all out because I've, truly, just stopped crying in the last few hours and if I write it all out...I am afraid my eyeballs will pop out from swelling.
Today hurts.
What God calls us too...it can hurt.
We are a family called to adopt. It has not been an easy path. It's been alot harder than it has been easy. We are not the exception...that is really just how adoption is these days.
Why you wonder?
Cuz who hates happy, loving families bringing a parent-less child into their home forever to love on and show them how to be a giving, loving, useful person within their community? Evil.
So...I understand the source of the 'hurt'. I understand where it comes from. But. It doesn't take it away.
I'll go ahead with those pictures now...cuz I feel some more waterworks starting and I really don't wanna blubber anymore today.
I'm not really the blubbering-sort. I'm more of the "yes, I realize I am a bit of a hot mess but this is why" kinda girl. But not today.
Today I am blubbering over hurt. sigh. Life can be SO AMAZINGLY wonderful and SO INCREDIBLY difficult. Do you find that to be true also?
Okay...onto the pictures...
First....a bit of a family photo shoot the other week :)
All the things Zane loves.... animals & "Legos"
Tye is SO SO SO proud of his new 'purple' belt in Tae Kwon Do...and so are we!
Aven...I feel art in her future :) smile/giggle/laff
Trey...doing what he loves....
Chase, being 15, and tolerating my picture-obsession :)
Documenting that "Opposites Attract"
And now for some "Cockrum Animal Updates!"
We have THREE new puppies (good job Dorothy :) but, alas, two shattered "LoveBird" eggs...though there are still 3 eggs in their next.
And, YES, we dissected the eggs because Zane and I were to curious not too... If you have some sort of strong tie to itty-bitty non-developed birds...you should skip this part...
Puppies first....
About 3 hours old....
The pups, all boys, are a week old now...Aven adores them :)
THE EGGS....you've had warning....
Zane loved every second of this 'science project'. Maybe I have scarred him for life? hm.
This is one of the most developed of the two eggs..it is on a band-aid to give you a size perspective. Are you laughing or thinking I'm a serious loon? Personally, I find it intriguing and mildly hysterical.
The circle of life people...it's okay to giggle.
Poor guy..he was almost there. The other egg..well...the word "soupy" comes to mind... shudder.
And NOW some pics that JIM took...when I was NOT around...kids - you are NOT ALLOWED to jump on the COUCH! Jim, seriously? Did you think I would not see these?!
But gosh they are funny doing it :)
Trey got this hat last weekend...and I'm pretty sure it has not come off his head. Should I check for lice? I think he used shampoo on it though last time he showered?!!! ;)
And NOW...some fun pictures of our "Chicago Little Kid Birthday Bonanza" that we planned with some of our closest friends. Yes, I despise Chicago but this is the third time I've been back so...I figured I'd be okay.
Wrong.
HOWEVER...I got one AMAZING day with the everybody...(other than that...I hid in my room b/c...oh so ironic...our hotel was next to the Emergency Room of the hospital that my close friend, Jeanna (the most injured of all of us), was taken too.
The bellboy told Jim there is a siren once every 7 minutes.
I get shaky and anxious when I hear ONE siren AT HOME...needless to say...I had earphones on listening to music or books while the rest of them did their thing after our amazing day Friday :) Yes, I have an amazing husband and super-supportive friends.
[I was going to try to attend the parade but I got a funny text from Jessica...who was on the patch of grass...waiting for the Chicago Christmas Parade to start: "You are not coming to this. It would kill you." bbwwhahahaha She gets it. ]
The little girls got to pick out there birthday presents at "The American Girl" store (I know Aven's birthday isn't until January...but...ALL the other 'little' kids in our families are around this time so Aven just lucked out :) and the littler boys got to raid the "Lego" store :)
Yes, this is how we roll..and, yes, I think Aven's picking her nose.
The "KBMV" takes on Chicago....
Let the "American Girl" Par-Tay begin Aven screams :)
Luv these girls...and the doll :) It is SO obvious in these pictures that Jessica's Tess and my Aven are the 'only' girls in each family. I think Jessica and I 'might' have had more fun...or it was at least a tie between the 'big girls' and 'the little girls' :)
Thank you God...for this amazing little soul who heals my heart EVERYDAY and brings SUCH joy to us. THANK you for bringing her to us... for allowing us the priviledge of HER.
YES...we are "THOSE" Moms :)
And we haven't a CLUE where our girls get their fashion obsession from..nope..not a clue.. ;)
The "Lego Store" is SO "male". A square room...boxes lining the walls...u go in, pick what you want, and leave. Where's the experience? the giggling? the lunch? the doll 'salon'? the ambiance??!!!
However, the 'males' of the bunch did not see a problem with this square store and had fun picking out their treasures. They'd been waiting for this trip since summer :)
My BIRTHDAY BOYS!!!! They are almost 9 yrs old ... how????
And now for the parade pictures in which I will NOT appear...and some more randomness...like all of us packed into an elevator :)
...in the elevator..we scared people :)....
I swear they are normal kids. I promise :)
AND...last but not least...
a beautiful sight Jim and I woke up to the other day... a little bit of sunshine laying in our room...
ahhhhh.....
blogging helps me in so many ways.
Going through these pictures...It's not that I do not KNOW I am blessed with the loves of my life....and YES...there is HURT in our lives...almost daily at this point from some source or another....
But...I think the amazing outweighs the yuk. Because God brings good of the bad for those that love Him...and I love Him and thank Him for all of "THIS"....even the 'hurt' because it makes me a better person.
Much love my treasured readers.... Ya know...there's a comment button just below the end of this post if ya ever wanna say "HI ANDREA :)" .... wink wink wink .....
I LOVE comments. Makes me feel more connected to ya'll.
Luvs,
Andrea
ha..."It'll just be pictures today folks"...I'm not changing the title cuz I think it's funny that I even 'thought' I could just post pictures and not write about them or something!
2 PLEASE leave me a comment! I LUV hearing from you!:
The eggs are disgusting.
The Chicago pics are priceless and beautiful. So thankful that I got to go there with Aven too, cuz you know w/o her I had no hope to get to do that stuff either! :) Great memories!
The yuck is not the fun part of life, I agree, but the amazing takes it away at times and that's so wonderful.
Tye's heart and mind are more than I can imagine. I hurt for him too, but I know that God will turn this into a big 'good' in his life too.
Story ... never know whether to mention this to you or not ... glad you posted it here so I know it's ok. She's been on my mind all week. I am believing and trusting that she is doing better than good and has encouragement and fun in her life. She is in our lives for a reason!!!
So I don't know you at all. I am Friends with Mindy Reynolds and found you like that from your "tampon" post(hilarious, by the way!) on FB that she commented on. I spent about 3 hours reading your blog the other night. Keep on keeping on girl! God loves you and you are highly favored and richly blessed!(Even though there has been a lot of crazy) Thanks for letting me see a small bit of your life! It has blessed me and helped me keep the right perspective!
Jennifer
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