The first few moments of Tye's first REAL Basketball Game were SO exciting for him!  Running into a crowded room with music, smoke, applause, and music...standing to sing the "Star Spangled Banner", and big "oh ha!" from his team...

But.

Then.

The reality of taking turns set in.  Whoops...He was pretty much NOT OK with taking turns!  

 Our Trey, the assistant coach {smile} even tried showing him the coach manual showing Tye when he would go in for the second quarter.  I don't think Tye believed him until Coach Daddy actually got him onto the court!

 

Coach Dad did have to give Tye some one-on-one coaching but Tye truly did get the "idea" of the game and was ALL smiles during his turns.

His defense moves,  similar to Zane's, involved alot more of jumping in place and waving hands like a human jumping jack than some of the other players but it was pure, raw, entertainment for this Momma!  

Tye even tried to get a shot off ... and .... even though he missed it ... he was still REALLY jazzed that he even had the chance.....totally adorable!

And VERY reminscent of his Momma's basketball career...YES!....I played basketball {in 7 & 8th grades}.

 I was a starter even!  However, throughout my long and commendable (cough cough) career...I only scored ONE point .... yep ... one.  It was a foul shot from the free-throw line..on the tail end of my last season.

When it went in I got SO excited I hooped and hollered all over the court...My parents were rolling in the stands .... I was so excited that .... 

I got taken out of the game to calm down.  {snort} Whatever!  Needless to say, I did not receive any MVP awards but I did receive my fair share of "Best Attitude" awards :)

 

This last picture is hysterical if you look closely.

Note the kiddo with the ball:  Zane

Note the kiddo in background being consoled by Coach Dad:  Tye

Tye was VERY ticked that Zane had the ball and he didn't.  Oh the life lessons just keep pouring over that precious little "Emperor" of ours....even when he's having "fun" on the basketball court.

 

So, yes, it was more than thrilling to see TYE ANDREW COCKRUM participating in a TEAM sport, FOLLOWING directions, SMILING with other kids, FEELING PROUD of himself.

But.

Real Life Kicked In Tonight At Practice.

Tye, our master manipulator {a talent learned from being institutionalized which is getting more controlled but still shows it's ugly tenacles at times} wanted to DOMINATE the team.

He was rowdy, physical, trying to get all the attention on him and NOT on what Coach Dad was telling the team.

To bad for our little Tye-Man, that we, as his parents who have walked the last 5 years with him, predicted this behavior...which is EXACTLY why DADDY is the Coach...and a BROTHER is the assistant coach.

So, without terribly disrupting practice, Coach Daddy was able to set Mr. Tye to the side until Tye was ready to let his powertrip stop.

Poor little Tye....We are onto these little tricks little man...but our love for ya is HUGE my man.

So..now...onto me .... {eye roll}

I miss Chase.

It's just weird around here.

It's so quiet.

We have had a talking blond-headed kid at our shins, then our knees, then our hips, now he's up to our shoulders ... and that whole time he was growing UP he was TALKING.  The. Whole. Time. 

We have had 12 years of TALKING.  And it is "Chase Talking" which is totally different phenom than your average talking child.

Since Chase struggles with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, his talking {if you have the time and patience to stick through a conversation with the precious teen} can be....

 

.....disjointed, convoluted, mismatched, funny, spontaneous, lacking of nouns, heavy on pronouns, and often results in at least 3 "start overs" mid-sentence.

It can be infuriating.  Frustrating.  At times I have wanted to take him by the shoulders and scream "SPIT IT OUT SON!" .....

(I'm not being mean ... it has to be okay to be honest.)

But..now those shoulders are in Arizona and I miss the daily feeling of frustration with him!  How weird am I?  I MISS feeling frustrated.

Oh My.

Maybe Chase going to Arizona (where BTW, he is thriving, living it up, helping with community projects, ministering, working with Papaw, playing "UNO" with Mamaw, and sleeping well) could also be just as much for ME as it is for CHASE.

So.

I guess, since I -apparently-, enjoy daily frustration even crave it we are adding another puppy to the mix ;)

 

Our "Benson", a 13-week old 'Shorky' (part Shitzu-part Yorky) will be here Wednesday ...  supposed to be Tuesday, even though Trey/Zane/Tye/Aven/Andrea were super excited for Tuesday now it is going to be Wednesday suddenly. 

(Would the Breeder like to tell my puppy-bubbly kids at breakfast tomorrow that Benson is NOT coming today but tomorrow...? sheesh.  But, that is frustrating, so, it IS filling up my "I need to feel frustrated daily to feel normal" tank, right?! yeah? oy vay.)

Is it okay to feel less normal but more yourself the older you get?!!

Cuz that is exactly where I am! {and I think I'm okay with 'dat}

Andrea, 

balanced in an unbalanced way...

I applied...barely!

In case any of my loyal, loving, and persistent readers were worried....I just wanted to let you know that I DID apply for a local art fair. (proud of me?!)

Established in 1971, the Broad Ripple Art Fair brings together more than 225 artists from the U.S. and Canada, booths from local cultural organizations, a children’s creative area, gourmet food courts, a beer and wine garden and live entertainment on four stages and the Frank M. Basile Auditorium. The Art Fair takes place in ARTSPARK on the grounds of the Indianapolis Art Center annually each May. All proceeds from the Art Fair directly benefit Art Center programs. The 40th Broad Ripple Art Fair will take place May 15 and 16, 2010.




  Remember, I told you to keep me accountable cuz otherwise I'd talk myself out of it?!

Well, I did almost talk myself out of it...but...my speech didn't hold much water this time around..haha

thanks for all the encouragement...

And...tomorrow you will see pictures of my Tye (the special needs kidlet) playing in his FIRST (real) basketball game!!!!!  It was a wonderful Saturday!

One of those parenting days that you will NEVER forget!

Andrea...

PS Chase...We miss you!!  Love You!!!  Proud of you!!!

PSS We are getting another puppy Tuesday.  I decided "Nala" needs a boyfriend :)  I'm wondering how many of you are laughing at me right now or shaking your heads in confusion....neener neener!

Happiest 3rd Birthday Avenita....My Gift. My Reward.

 

Sweet Beyond Words little girl of mine...How did we get this far?  How did we figure out the Guatemalan complications?  How did God restore my heart after losing Story when you were put into my arms in room 212 at The Grand Tikal hotel in Guatemala City, Guatemala on May 4, 2007? How?

How did you fill a space in my heart that I didn't even know was there?  How do you make me feel so important when you mimic my behaviors?  Aven, how have we done this?

 

How did we find each other? A Mother and Daughter who, according to most logical life outcomes, would never have met but who are now....intimately connected via our souls matching.

You, my precious, You are a Divine Creation who has already done more for our family than 20 kids could do for us.

Aven Catherine Mundell ....  You have glued our family together, You have brought healing, You have brought laughter, You have opened your Daddy to a whole new world of love that he never had before, You have forced me to be a better person, You have taught your special needs brother in ways that we never fathomed, you have brought a joy into our hearts that is radiant, and you have turned your brothers into gentlemen as they care for and protect you.

 

Having four sons is an amazing blessing and one that I am grateful for everyday.  I was oh-so happy with four sons.  I could have completed life very content with four sons. Really!

But then...you came along.

Girl, you rocked your new parents' hearts more than you can ever understand. I love your Daddy more now simply because of how he looks at you, his daughter. 

To say that I am grateful to be your Mother, on today, your 3rd birthday, is like saying one is grateful for air.  It is so much more than grateful...it is a feeling of ecstasy that was unexpected, happily embraced, and felt by our entire family.

I was thinking of your precious birth momma today ....  I pray her peace, a sense of security in your being, and I pray that God restores her to a place of rest and closure in regards to the incredibly loving decision she made to release you into adoption.

I would love to know about her. Maybe we will someday .....  Obviously, she must be amazingly gorgeous because you have an outside beauty that is breath-taking...though we focus and are even more watchful that you inner-beauty take precedence.

Surely, she sat quietly today and thought of you.  She carried you for 9 long months.  You are a part of her that, as your adoptive mom, I never want to forget or let you shy away from.  You are hers in a sense just as much as you are mine.  I wish I could show her how happy, delightful, bright, and confident you are ....  but maybe she feels this already within her Mommy heart. I pray this is the case.

 

 Girl, I am quite excited to see what happens  in this 3rd year of your life...

One thing FOR SURE is that you will suddenly fall in love with "big girl panties"...PLEASE! 

But now, as I sit here typing my next thoughts I am pausing...

I am pausing because even if you did NOTHING different this 3rd year...it would continue to be a joy to be your Momma.  You have nothing to prove my sweet young lady. We love you unconditionally...all of us.

 

I will spend this next year, as in the past years that I have been able to be a part of you life, watching you work your "magic" with your Daddy, Grandpa, and Brothers... I will continue to watch you explore, learn, and smile....

I will, most definitely, continue to be ASTOUNDED that you are ours.  

You sewed by heart back together "Dulcita" ... I don't think anyone but YOU could have done that. And for that miracle, I feel immensely blessed. I am grateful that God intervened so powerfully giving you to us all the while getting Story out of the orphanage and into an adoptive Guatemalan family.  

The details of all that still make me shiver.  God took bad into good...as He promises He can and will.

We love you Aven...Soon you will have the birthday party you keep asking for and it WILL have (according to you): princesses, ice cream, plates, forks, dancing, and friends.  Luv It!

So....Happy Birthday Aven ....  

Even though I am still mildly confused as to how we got into this oh-so amazing situation as your parents, I accept it with wide open arms and a grateful heart.

Te Amore...

tu Mama

Suitcases by the door, pre-teen geeked, Mom a wreck.

(typing while crying...just for added effect...or maybe because I just can't stop the tears....)

My oldest baby is going away for a few (2? 3?) weeks.

My hormone-raging, moody, joyous, frustrated, smiling, struggling 13 year old is going to go minister with his US-based missionary grandparents in Phoenix, AZ.

Some wide open space to cure the hormone overdose....Some one-on-one attention from two of his most favorite people in the world....traveling to new sights to give him some balance and fresh air....

Chase struggles with "Fetal Alcohol Effect".  Some kids with FAE hit puberty with a force that is shocking to the child and the loved ones.  Unfortunately, this has been the case with Chase.  


This "Adventure" has been planned to give him a "break" of sorts from the norm while Mom and Dad are back home devouring books on "Fetal Alcohol" and teen age boys!

 I know it is all good and I have tried to "mother" with excellence today by packing him up with anything and everything I think he might need (whist my husband reminds me that there are Wal-Marts in Phoenix :)

My boy loves listening to audio books while following along in the actual book so we hit the Half Price Bookstore today and loaded up on some great books (which I have now put the audio files of on his MP3 player), and I stocked the boy up on more educational DVD's than is even anywhere near normal to use on his portable DVD player.

Sigh.

New Socks. New Skibbies. New Hiking Shoes. A New (short!) haircut. His favorite (huge) king-sized blanket stuffed into a suitcase.

I guess he is ready.

I guess I am too .... but I am not ready to stop crying just yet.

Our house is different when any of us are gone.  The dynamics change (some good ways/some bad ways), the energy is off .... there's simply a piece missing.

I know this type of season and experience will start happening more and more as my kids grow up ....  and I am incredibly proud that my Chase is able to go out into a new space and thrive ....  that has really been the whole point of our homeschooling ...

But.

He will be there.  Not here.  sigh.

We would appreciate prayers for Jim and Chase as they fly to Phoenix tomorrow .. and then as Jim flies back home...and Chase takes up residence in his Mamaw and Papaw's fifth-wheel trailer in his little nook about the cab of the truck in the back lot of a church parking lot :)

Anyone have a tissue? Or a high-five I suppose? Anyone wanna pray for the grandparents?! ha

Trying to be balanced...

Andrea

PS This emotional post wouldn't be complete without noting a sarcastic comment from Trey (who suddenly seems to forget he's cried his eyes out last week about Chase leaving) ....  I was hugging Chase tightly, crying {of course}, and Trey quipped "Mom it could be a whole lot worse ya know."

The boy can cut to the quick I tell ya .... Yes, it could be OH so much worse .... but my Momma's soul is still be sucked out of my symbolic envelope which hurts. 

"Mom, it is hard to believe in God..." said my very smart 10 yr old.

 

We were schooling today....Let me create a mental picture for you...(ya might wanna sit down)..

Five kids, Two adults, One rabbit, One bearded dragon, and One dog...

One small girl working on flashcards with our Mother's Helper up in the reading loft. One 13 year old boy laying on the floor listening to his history lessons via audiobook & earphones.

One 10 year old son sitting at his desk working on grammar (though he is only staring at it as usual), one teacher sitting in her new comfy teacher chair with two 1st graders sitting in front of her listening while she reads their bible devotion for the day.  (everyone say "a la Norman Rockwell" together...)

The 1st graders' Bible devotion was on the "Names of God" from the book, "Leading Little Ones to God"  (one of my FAV Bible-related books ever!)

So, we got to the name "I AM" that was uttered to Moses via the burning bush. I asked my two first graders if they thought the bush had a mouth?  (no..hehe)  What did they think the voice sounded like? (human?  wind?) .....

As our discussion continued, my 10 yr old turned from his untouched grammar book {note: untouched} and raised his hand (hehe...).  I acknowledged his hand and he went on to say this...

"Mom, I know there is God, Jesus, and a Holy Spirit. I know the Bible is true.  I do believe in God but it is hard sometimes. I mean, how can He always have been?  What does he look like?"

(I silently whisper a prayer of thanks for God leading me on my own spiritual journey that included these same questions in my late 20's. Until then, I had been a Christian because I was 'supposed to be'. After my journey (which included reading alot of books, especially "How Now Shall We Live" by Chuck Colson, I am now a Christ-Follower because I deeply believe.)

 

So, instead of my usual knee-jerk response of saying, "Trey! I am doing first grade right now, I'll work with you in a bit" I was able to feel the WEIGHT in his question and the bits of FEAR in his words.  

Also, his little brothers had heard his question and I did not want to glaze it over due to the fact that they may have these same questions just not the ability to put it into words.

(I took a deep breath...and responded)

"I remember feeling that way when I was your age Trey. I even felt that way when I was an adult at times. No where in the Bible does it say not to question God. God is not mad at you for the questions you have. {insert a decent size 'sigh' from Trey}  I have thought, so many times, that wouldn't it be nice if we DID have a picture of GOD...a true, real, picture so believing would be easier."

(Then, realizing I was quickly sliding into idol worship {whoops..yikes} I said...)

"But, God knows our brains are not able to comprehend something that 'has always been, always will be, and which will never change' which is what the "I AM" name of God means. SO, He provides us with huge hints in science, in our souls, and in outcomes that prove Himself to us."

 

"Trey, the human body itself is a testament to God. The fact that scientists don't truly understand how the eye works, how the body heals itself at times, and scientists openly admit that the human brain is still a scientific mystery that astounds experts often."

"Remember when we learned how all of our internal organs are dependent upon each other?  That is God's design. It is beautiful and amazing and not something that 'time' or 'chance' could have created."

Trey says, "Yes, Mom, I remember all that."

{shoot!  Come on Andrea think of something new girl...this is why God gave you this child...to raise him in Godly virtues..He needs a strong faith to do that! I can't be tardy for this party!}

"Good, glad you remember all that {of course you do you stinkin' little Einstein!}. "

"Mom, if they could just find the Ark or something.  It would help." Trey said.

(okay...I can go with this archaelogical findings stuff..I know bit bout that)

"Trey, remember when God told Joshua and the Israelites to march around the walls of Jericho for 7 days and that on that 7th day the city would be theirs? Yes? Good. Well, the actual city of Jericho has been found.  Guess what?  The city walls were excavated and it was shown that the walls fell out just as scripture says it did.  

And, every city mentioned in the Old Testament has been confirmed by archaelogists. And, King David, who non-Christian scientists have always said was a mythical figure, was recently confirmed to be a true person, king, etc., exactly as the Bible says"

 

Trey said, "Well, have they ever found the actual cross Jesus died on?"

"Not that I know of but I doubt wood, such an organic material, would last this long.  Dead wood decays. However, there have been fish bones found on mountain TOPS around the world which is wonderful proof for global flood, just as the Grand Canyon can be seen as a result of the waters receding quickly - not millions of years of sediment build up."

{At this point, I have the undivided attention of my first graders and maybe my Mother's Helper, not sure.  My 13 yr old son is still under his headphones learning about the ancient Roman empire :)}

Trey said, "If only I could see God ..."

"You see God everyday Trey-bear.  When your eyes work, when you see the seasons change, when you feel love in your heart, and when you have that little whisper in your soul telling what is right and wrong...That is how we humans 'see' God."

"Remember, God knows our brains cannot fully understand Him.  We do, at times, have to make a choice to believe but God has given us so many helpful hints, proof, and science that He makes our decision much easier.  

And you know what? The older you get, the more you will see God work in your life.  At this point, there is absolutely NO way I, as Andrea Michelle Cockrum, can deny God due to the ways I have seen things in life play out.  You will have this too."

{okay. now here is the 'better be sitting down part'. I thought the conversation was winding down, I'm slipping back into teaching-mode from my preaching-mode when...}

Trey says, "Like quantum physics.  The scientists didn't know that there were layers or threads of signals in the atomsphere until recently."

{Um. Sure?  Yes.  If you say so Trey.}

Then Trey said, "And, think about it.  If you set out a glass of orange juice.  It might get warm or moldy but that is pretty much it.  But if you set out a glass of water, it will evaporate as part of the water cycle.  Giving us clean water back. And water is the only liquid humans have to have."

{Okay well um there wow shoot dang hadn't thought of that...}

"You just proved, again, Trey that there is a God.  You saw God in the water cycle and you used the logical skills that is in your mysterious brain to made this deduction."

Trey closed the conversation by saying, "Well, yes, I guess the name "I AM" is one of the best names for God then."

{huge sigh of relief from me.}

I love seeing my kids figure out God in their own ways.

Chase, he just "knows".  That boy doesn't need science, archeological finds, or proof.

Zane and Tye are in the beautiful child-stage where they are able, without doubt, to love God easily.

Aven is at the point where she just knows that "Jesus Loves Me"...and, really, that is all it boils down too...

Though some of us, like Trey and myself, need to ask questions and I am thrilled God encourages this!

Wanna see actual PROOF of GOD right here/right now?  Yes?!

Look!

 

TYE DID THESE!  TYE!  (yes, I said TYE!)

Is Tye's improvement from lots of work, therapies, medicines, etc? Yes.

But, has God led us to these answers?  Yes.

This ART is PROOF of GOD.  No Doubt.

Luv you all!

Andrea

PS The art fair deadline is the 24th! phew ... I have a few days still..the 18th deadline wasn't lookin' good for me! sheesh I'm ridiculous!

PSS Chase leaves for Phoenix in 2 days...gulp. 

PSSS I'd love to know your thoughts on my conversation with Trey....advice for next time? Add'l info? A good pre-teen apologetics book? A high five? A roll of the eye?! ;) I enjoy 'talking' with you fun peeps when you comment.

I'm in the mood for some good art!

 

 

  

These three are by a Russian artist, Kandinsky.  His "circle" painting is having a "comeback" of sorts in stores like "Target", but I like his other works much better.  I would love to see one in person sometime!

 

 

 

 

 

One of my favorite types of art is Japanese Art, including wood block prints. Ando Hiroshige, popular 1830-1840, 

I just learned that the Art Institute of Chicago has a huge collection of these.  I WILL see this exhibit soon!

 

 

 

Lately, I have been very drawn to iconic art.  (art used to enhance worship, remembrance, etc)  Our local art museum had a one-of-a-kind exhibit bringing hundreds of these together from Mexico and Spain.  

It was AMAZING to walk through, ponder, wonder about the origins of the icons, the history, etc.

You could truly feel God's presence in that exhibit.

 

AND......Along with favorite painting, I wanted to reflect today on my favorite building!  St. Basil's in Moscow, Russia (inside Red Square).  I have seen this in-real-life but I did not appreciate it as much as I would now...actually, I was to busy gazing into the dark brown eyes of my newly adopted 14 month old son while we walked past this amazing structure.... 

Art is not just colors.  Or a hobby.  Art is another way to communicate, to document history, to invent a new feeling,  to remember, to love.....

I am so glad God created art as another form of worship.....

Andrea