Tye is 'starting' to understand his adoption heritage.

I'm excited that his mental abilities are increasing to the point where he now has sense of "past", "present", and "future".



This helps in ALL areas of his life...but has, especially, helped him understand his adoption.

Even though he didn't understand the concept of adoption, over the last four years we've told him his "story" and tried to introduce all the "adoption lingo" into his vocabulary.



Amazingly enough, he seems to be grasping that....

"Daddy, Mommy, and Chase got on an airplane to goto China where you were.

You were in a Baby House till you were 2 years old.

Your birthmomma loves you but needed help taking care of your 'owie' so she let us adopt you."



(obviously, that is a "censored" version of his true story...being abandoned on hospital steps is the accurate rendition...and, now, when the time is right.....since he has a 'basic' understanding of what adoption is ... we will bring this vague story into a clearer picture for him.

This is how we've handled Chase's history and, so far, he's settling into the idea .... He's quite proud of his Russian birthparents, his adoption, etc.)

During school a few weeks ago, we were all sitting on the floor doing history and the globe was out.

Zane enjoys finding Russia, China, and Guatemala. He found China and told Tye "Tye this is where you were!"

Tye's eyes lit up!

"SSShhhhiiiinna?" Tye asked?

"Yep, CHINA Tye. You came home from CHINA. " Zane responds.



At this point, to my absolute shock because I didn't even know he remembered this item, he went upstairs and got his "Adoption Scrapbook" that has our journey to him chronicled via pictures.

The 5 of us (Aven was sleeping!) looked through the book with Tye....Tye loved it.

But...suddenly...He got VERY quiet.

Chase had said something like, "Yep, and we might go back one day so you can see it".

I was confused when Tye starting crying....truly crying.

I looked at the other boys...We were all confused.

Then it dawned on me....Tye had misintepreted Chase's words to mean HE WAS GOING BACK.

I drew Tye into my arms and said, "Sweetie, you are not ever going back to your Baby House without Mommy and Daddy. You will always be with us. Forever. You are not going back to LIVE there...."



It's moments like that when his language delay is practically terrifying because I don't know what "penetrating" his brain and what's getting lost in there.

I was trying to speak slowly, loudly, with love....

I got the globe, "X'd" out China and dragged my finger back to Indiana...And kept saying, "Tye lives with Mommy and Daddy and Chase and Trey and Zane and Aven.....Forever."

He looked right into my eyes, still crying, and said, "No more SSShhhina?"

Chase had tears in his eyes (Chase witnessed the horridness of Tye's orphanage with me...He's very aware of how horrible it had to have been to think he was going back...if Tye has any memory of it at all...which he surely does but we've never heard him talk about it of course...This was the closest he's ever come...)



I held him tight and close and said, "Nope. No more China Tye. Sorry but you are stuck with us now! You are a Cockrum!"

He calmed down....but it left my feather's a bit ruffled.

Then, last night, he walks into the kitchen holding a framed picture of himself as a baby. The pic was taken when he was fully cleft still (obviously) and at about 1 year old. It is one of the pictures we received when we committed to him.

(this isn't the picture...but this is the day we "got" Tye in China...and dangalang..the boy needed a bath! You don't want details...trust me! )

He showed me and Trey the picture and said, "Tye owie?"

Trey said, "Yep Tye. That was your owie. When you were in China that was your owie."

Tye said, "No more SSshiiinnnaaa?"

My heart stopped. Maybe he does have some vivid memories....If I could only get into his brain more...

I got down to his level and told him again, "No Tye. No more China. No more airplanes to China. You are home with us."

He didn't cry. He just simply nodded and put the picture on the kitchen counter.


(this is the paperwork, called a 'dossier', that we had to submit to China for Tye's adoption.)

I kept the picture there, wondering if he'd say more today but he's just simply walked past it 25 times or more today with acknowledging it.

Sooooo.....He's "starting" to get it. And I'm so happy for that. I've NEVER wanted any of my adopted children to 'suddenly' figure out they were adopted.

To have this sort of huge revelation that could, possibly, leave them reeling.

We've always simply slowly integrated their stories into our family's history and bring them up as often as other people bring up their pregnancies...

And, yep, I bring up the pregnancies alot too.

I like to remind Trey that I threw up 182 times with him and to make sure Zane knows his number is 216. {mean momma!}



Raising kids is such an honor....sometimes, though, it feels more like "Walking a Tightrope!"....



Trying to say or do or balance just perfectly so the end result success!

Luckily...I think we can equate "God" to the big old skinny pole those tightrope walkers use...That pole is there for balance, surety, and confidence....just as God is while we are trying to find our way as parents....

Let's Keep Walking Forward!!

Andrea
hhhmmmm.....Maybe I should walk around in a purple leotard with peacock feathers on my head and butt??!!! snort