WELCOME to my blog! A blog that is not scared of transparency, long posts, hard questions, nor of revealing the silly antics of an entrepreneurial, adoptive, homeschooling family of 7!
Please stay and read...or I'll feel ... Well ... weirder than most people already think we are ;)
I have been WAITING and WAITING for a new book by my man, Grishom....and it is here today!!!
Anyone else out there reading it tonight??!!!!! I was BUMMED till about page 55...then I started smiling again...phew!
The last book he wrote came out while we were in Guatemala 18 months ago....
Jim was so happy to finally snag me a copy on our way HOME from our adventure, 106 days later! I was SO tired of waiting for my Mr. Grisham!
So, I am used to "waiting" on my "Mr. Grisham Dates"....
But...Tonight....Jim came home with "the book"..... It just came out TODAY!
(and I've been mentioning it for a week...telling everyone to be ready to "leave me to myself" tonight!!! hehe)
He texted me that "I have the package" earlier today and with that I gave a "Woot Woot" and looked forward to an entire evening of reading...
(well, along with blogging of course...and some minimal Momma-ing duty...but Jim is highly aware of my Grisham-fascination so he was prepared to 'bach' it if need be...thanks for the delicious dinner love...You so rock.)
As of now, I am on page 85...It's a 373 page book...I'm hoping to finish it off tonight...
but my eyes are a bit tired because last night, starting around 7pm, I read for about 6 hours ("Quantico Rules" by Riehl...His first book...it was ok. Good plot. Senseless sub-plots.)
I LOVE reading....Luv it.
I can lose myself in a good book and not look up for what seems to be hours....
I picture the characters in my mind very specifically, I can "see" the landscape, the situations described...
... feel the sadness, sympathy, excitement, etc....MUCH better than a movie.
I've decided I love reading WAY more than movies because...
I AM A CONTROL FREAK!
I can make a character "my way" when I read versus what a character is shown to be in a movie...normally picked for their Hollywood weight and not their true match to the book's character...
In a book....I can put it down and come easily...I am IN CONTROL!
I am NEVER, EVER NOT ONCE happy with the movie-version of a book I've read. (IE: "Twilight"!!! ughs!)
I've got a problem I tell ya!!!
But...Regardless....
Me and My Controlling Self are heading back to my Mr. Grisham now....
"Kyle McAvoy" is just about to start a brilliant career as a new associate at a large law firm but he's being blackmailed by people from his past....
I'll let ya know it ends!!! hehe
Andrea
FYI: I've read ALL of Grisham's books...even the icky non-fiction ones and the non-legal begal ones and I ONLY finished those out of loyalty to the author....ick.
I also own most of them in harcover (someone please yell "NERD"!)
My FAV Grisham book: "The Rainmaker" My Second Fav: "The Brethern"
Just in case you were wondering....{smile} {me like some Grisham legal begal-ness!!}
(yes...that's Trey...his hair is ... purty durn long right now! He's a musician at heart...so..the hair...ya know...it's "him")
Oh So Adorable!
Ok. Well. This one is a might scary. I'll give ya that...
She makes "Makeup" out of EVERYTHING (even her big brothers' toy guns!)....
So....We aren't "creating a monster" here, are we??!!
(Um. I'm not asking for any real opinions..please don't leave me mean comments about how we are corrupting her purity somehow with lip gloss. Thanks Though!)
This birthday present from Mommy & Daddy...
and Mommy is REALLY hoping that it keeps the Princessa out of HER (real) makeup and (expensive) jewelry while Mommy is primping (which is often...soooo..ya know...hehe)
I am still pretty shocked at how "different" parenting a "daughter" is versus "sons".....
It's ALL good. But...with my sons...they didn't shadow me 24/7/365, wanna wear my shoes (well, not that often..teehee), wanna put my necklaces on, wanna type like I type, wanna eat when I eat....wanna, seemingly, 'become' ME!
It's honoring, terrifying, silly, and odd .....
It makes me watch my words more....
Because the other day, even though I heard my boys do this when they were toddlers, hearing my daughter say "JIM!" with that...um....'certain tone' was horrible!
But also, hearing her say, "Okay Sweethart" to her baby dolls is fantastic! (I 'hope' she got that one from me at least....insert questioning look here.....)
I've been horribly aware, from the instant we had Chase in our arms 11 years ago, and with EACH additional BOY....and the general (and usually oh-so-loud general public) felt the need to educate me that...
Boys like their Daddy's. Especially after age 4.
And, yep, each of my boys...around age 4...started waning away from me (not 'really ya know...just more ...um....I don't know.... mentally?!) and towards their awesome Daddy.
So...though all the boys do still have my very heavy and thickly-knotted 'apron strings' around their hearts...
(and they better not EVEN think of untying those dang strings till Mrs. "Right" comes along cuz it took some T-I-M-E to tye those durn things...especially a few of them...sheesh...)
but...this daughter? Hm. I wonder what will happen at age 4.
Personally, I think we'll be shopping for feather boas while the boys are out golfing....{smile}.
Andrea
But...Please don't fret!!! Most of my entire existence is still wrapped up in "boy stuff"....
As in...spending HOURS and HOURS at basketball games for the next um..... tons of Saturdays watching some of our cute boys playin' ball (well...all of them 'cept Mr. Tye. Maybe next year Chief!)!!
But. WHY or WHY must every one of Zane's games start at 8:30AM ???? WHY o WHY?!!! That's just cruel & inhuman punishement for trying to get your homeschooled kids socialized. (snort)
Chase...playin'! This is his 6th year in this league...He thinks he runs the place. He had one 3 point shot...along with many other shots, one which went OVER the backboard/goal and out of bounds...Jim, Mr. Basketball, said that shot "hurt him somewhere deep inside that he didn't know what there..." teehee
We told Chase we'll just focus on the 3 point shot...and not the airball. He readily agreed.
Trey couldn't decide which was cooler. Playin' ball or putting on illusions for his admiring public...as shown here....{cute}
Our precious Z-Dawg showing of his skillz. This little guy has played 2 years now. This year, apparently, he has really taken Daddy's basketball talks to heart...
He DID NOT put his arms DOWN unless he had the ball. "HANDS UP!" must have really stuck hard...Whether he was on Offense or Defense...You could find him easily because his arms were STRAIGHT UP!!
I was just impressed that a person could hold ones arms straight in the air for an hour...while jogging up and down a bball courts..hehe...It made the 8:30am game time 'almost' worth it...snicker....
(Okay. I'm really done posting now. I promise. No more. No! Wait! I don't mean "done posting." ... I mean "done posting for tonight!" Please...Ya'll can't shake me now!)
Two years of a life lived with parts unknown, moments unsure, and...now...months of security.
I met Aven when she was 3 months old...
I went to visit my new "daughter" in April of '07.
But my heart was in turmoil...My FIRST daughter was "lost".
Honestly...I didn't feel like meeting a "new" baby.
Our first Guatemalan adoption had been disrupted by corrupt paperwork....
I was in Guatemala, honestly, to find my "first" baby girl.
I wanted to at least TOUCH my first daughter... in the orphanage she was living in...to pray over her...to tell her, in her infancy, that she'd always be loved...even though she could never be "mine".
In the mean time (and before I traveled to Guat to find "our first girl"), according to Jim's oh-so-right decision, as I was curled up in bed under the blankets barely able to consider another daughter, he explained to me that...
"We Can't Go Out This Way Andrea. We Have To Fight."
Fight We Did.
We accepted another "referral". A "daughter". A "baby"....
and....
We FOUGHT for our Aven.
I didn't know I wanted her so much until I had her.
I didn't think I could ever "love" a another daughter like I loved my first.
But.....Once Aven (then called "Dulce" which means "sweet" in Spanish) was put into my arms, in Room 320 at the Grand Tikal in Guatemala City, Guatemala....
I was her forever-Momma.
I felt her soul - immediately.
(this has not happened with all of our other adoptions..some yes..some no...but this one...yes..)
We were Mother and Daughter.
MY Aven started healing MY heart .... it was a wonderment.
To leave her with her Guatemalan foster family, 7 days later, was like leaving my heart outside of my body.
I couldn't take another moment of separation...
Jim and I, and our super-close friends who were also adopting their precious daughter, traveled to Guatemala together to see "our girls" about 2 months later...
What a trip. Amazing Memories.
I was there when one of my closest friends saw her daughter for the first time. (elevator!)
She was there to, finally, meet my Aven....
But. Again. Separation.
We, all, eventually, had to say "good-bye" to our daughters..whom we were simply visiting....the champagne toasts were over...the crying began.
Then, somehow, BOOM...
.
God leads our little family to uproot from Greenwood, IN to Antigua, Guatemala for three months to be with our Aven as her adoption is completed.
Wow.
What an honor...to experience this child's life at an early age.
These are moments and memories in our family's life that are simply priceless (even though we did almost all die on a volcano! see post from end of Sept '07 or so...eeeks!)
But.
Now.
Home.
A Year.
Aven.
Ours.
Intricately.
No More Guessing.
No More Wondering.
She Knows Us.
We Know Her.
My precious daughter, I am SO VERY PROUD of you for FIGHTING....
for keeping your boisterous soul during those months of uncertainty..
(though your first foster family kept very good care of you!!! We love you Wendy y Lesbia! Gracias)
My dear daughter....I see your past reflecting into your future.
I see your empathy increased because of your early experiences.
I see your heart enlarged because of your losses.
I see love in you that is only granted by God.
YOU are an amazing creation.
You, my sweet daughter, have become our "glue".
YOU have "GLUED" our family together...
We ALL laugh, smile, grimace, sigh, and wonder after you...
WE ALL GET YOU.
YOU ARE ALL OF OURS....
Happy Birthday OUR sweet Dulce.....
Without You We Would Not Be Who We Are.
ALL of our love on your 2nd Birthday ....
Daddy, Mommy, Chase, Trey, Zane and Tye....and Stori.
Our devotion time in school today turned into an hour(s) I will not soon forget.
Ya know...I had even rolled my eyes when I saw that a chapter in this devotional book was on our schedule today.
I KNOW that is horrible (yes, I heard you all collectively think it) BUT this devotional book we are going through ALWAYS leads to TONS and TONS of questions from Chase and Trey.
I only had about an hour and half to get the older boys' "Must Have Mom To Do This" work/reading accomplished before Aven was back on the scene....awake from her afternoon beauty sleep so I felt rushed.
But, I grabbed the book...and started in.
So, there we are, the two olders and I sitting on the floor, reading and looking up scripture, Zane was on the computer, and Tye was building with blocks.
Suddenly....after some discussion about John 15:3-5 (about being part of a "vine"... within the community of Christ)....
the questions started coming...
"Mom, if I sinned yesterday, and die in a car wreck today, would I goto Heaven?"
"Yes sweets. No one is perfect. God doesn't expect you to be perfect all the time."
"Mom, could I kill someone, still believe in God, ask for forgiveness, and still goto Heaven?"
(okay...odd...I will be watching for violent behavior from this one for awhile!)
"Yes sweets, the Bible says that your salvation and entrance to Heaven is solely based upon your belief and confession as Jesus your Savior. So, if one truly asks for forgiveness with a humble heart, a murderer can goto Heaven"
Which led to NUMEROUS questions about the "differences" in Heaven for someone who did "good" all their life for Christ versus someone who didn't but truly accepted Christ - 'at the last minute'.
Shew. My theology was a getting a workout! (and it was about to WAY more intense.....)
Of course, then came the questions about "HEAVEN"... they are the standard ones, which we've addressed before...but I think they just like talking it out alot.
"Mom, where is Heaven?"
"Sweets, in my heart, I believe it's very close but just something we are not "aware" of yet because we are not there".
"Mom, what if I think the best thing in the world is playing basketball, is that all I will do in Heaven?"
"No, sweets, I don't think so. But I do believe that the talents and gifts that God gave you when He created you will be used in Heaven. Like Trey playing the guitar and Chase being a natural leader."
Suddenly....a little hand was on my knee....
I looked down.
There was my precious Zane, in tears.
The room got quiet, we were now all sitting together, on the floor of the school room, while Zane cried.
It was a heart-wrenching cry that simply just "started" when he put his hand on my knee.
I put my hand over his and said, "Sweetie, what is the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, Mom {sobbing} but I did something really bad and I didn't want to tell you".
Instantly, I know I'm in the middle of a huge teachable moment and my Mommy-heart starts to silently pray that I handle this with grace, ease, and patience...
Chase and Trey are looking at me, with big eyes, wondering what in the heck Zane is going to say!
"Zane, do you want to tell me now? Honey, what we were talking about...Heaven....You are going to Heaven sweetie. You believe in Christ. God loves you. You never need to feel scared about all this. "
{sobbing} Zane says, "Ok, I can tell you."
Chase chimes in, "Zane, do you want Trey and I to cover our ears?"
Zane nods yes...
(My Mommy Heart Has Now Melted Into a Pool of Mush)
I lean into Zane, put my arms around him, and say, "What is it?"
"A while ago, one night, when Trey and I were talking. I said I didn't want Tye in our family anymore because he steals my toys sometimes!" Zane whispers as quickly as possible between sobs....
I was stunned.
Not bad stunned.
GOOD stunned.
Oh my...If we could ALL have a conscience like that.
To be so aware and to be SO sensitive to such things...
and to FEEL the NEED to make it right.
I was SO proud of Zane for recognizing this need...for it shines a very exciting light on what is developing inside his little (big) spirit....
I smiled, Chase and Trey uncovered their barely covered ears....
I took Zane onto my lap and said, "Zane, that you feel SO badly for doing that, shows what a great child you are. Now, why don't you ask Tye for forgiveness? You are going to feel SO much better after you do. And, kiddo, we ALL get mad at each other. Sometimes we say mean things to. I am so proud of you, though, for wanting to make it right."
I get Tye to sit in front of Zane....
Zane looks him in the eyes and says, "Tye do you forgive me for saying a mean thing about you?"
Tye, looks at me and I nod "yes" so Tye says, "Yesh"
and these two little brothers hug like bear cubs.
Then, all the boys are hugging...and I'm sitting in pure admiration of the effort kids want to put into being close to God...and learning from them as I observe.
Then...there are yet MORE questions....
but, suddenly, the "other" stuff I was suppose to teach to my boys today really didn't matter so much anymore...
I felt honored to be spending "to much" time talking about Jesus.
There was once a chaotic house....uh-hem...I mean home.
Chaos was common, and well, mostly enjoyed....even on homeschool days.
This school day, however, the chaos was reigning supreme rather than the standard "controlled chaos" that typically dominates.
The two kindergarteners were more interested in throwing the plastic blocks rather than building the letter "T" out of them.
The fourth grader was exceptionally frustrated with a download from the "U.S. NOMAD" website.
The pupil had wanted to "see space in real time", and in a google search, found a downloadable tool that, using NOMAD technology, would allow his little laptop to view the "Milky Way" via a connected satellite.
Hhhmmm...sounded simple enough (for him).
However, amidst the dodging of the kindergartener's plastic blocks,...
the 4th grader was consistently asking for help from the technology-challenged teacher.
You see, the school's expert, on-site computer expert was busy playing basketball at the local gym.
This fact left the fourth grader and the teacher at a loss.
This did not make the fourth-grader, (uh -hem- know- it- all), happy and he vowed to "see space no matter what today".
(The teacher was inclined to tell him to simply look out the window...
but she held her tongue instead chosing to focus on the positives of his research abilities.)
All during this, there was a pleasant 12 year old who was happily, protected by earphones, playing a new, critical thinking game at the other computer station.
This fascinated student was exceptionally pleased with the new game.
This was apparent because he would bleat out "OH NO!" , or "STOP IT NOW", or "NOT THAT ZOOMBINI!" about every 10 seconds. Loudly bleating.
Of course, the teacher, while dodging plastic balls and continuing to try to figure out how NASA had their NOMAD software downloads set up..
... darts over to the interested 6th grader and signs "QUIET!" with her fingers....
See, for some odd reason, this teacher is jumpy at loud noises.
Some say it is a Pavlov's response to her environment but she's currently researching her psyche about this theory.
Regardless, the shrieking made her nervous, though she found the dodging of blocks helpful exercise.
The 6th grader, somewhat, responded to the silent demands to be quiet but seemed surprised when he was asked.
This unobservant pre-teen, apparently, neglected to note the headphones he wore on his ears. Thus, the very loud bleating.
Oh yes! There is one additional student in this school.
She was just recently admitted based upon her amazing test scores, though she is a bit young.
One problem with this, um pre-pre-schooler is that her attention span has not caught up with her test scores.
As a result, this same teacher...
(yes, the same one who's now forced the kindergarteners to clean up every single thrown plastic block,..
...explained to the budding-4th grade- astronomer that NOMAD's help center must be flooded with requests right now thus the non-response...
.... and who just got back from darting over to the bleating 6th grader for the 7th time)
has, today, figured out how to contain the bright but busy new student.
The teacher, thinking outside of the envelope..
as this was a necessary requirement before being hired for this position...
developed an intricate, sustainable system of keeping the busy star contained, quiet, and .... somewhat.... educated.
It's a complicated system, and one she's considering patenting so, as of the publication of this autobiography, she's not willing to release the overall specifications of her creation.
She is willing to admit that it does involve a vinyl sided cubicle of sorts, current technology, and the tot's favorite snack.
Ultimately, the day ended when the teacher, bruised from blocks, brain-stretched by the 4th-grader, face twitching because of the sixth-grader, and cheeks hurting from smiling at the tottling tot.....
decided.....
it was over.
The teacher has submitted a request for a pass off of campus tonight.
The on-site computer expert, oh and resident Principal, now home from the gym..
... has granted this request with the stipulation that his teacher remaincompliant to her lifetime contract and not reflect upon the other offers she had.
She replied to her oh-so-calm Principal, "I could never quit this job. Anything else in the entire world that I might attempt would pale in comparison. "
Thus the end of another...successful?....homeschooling day in a home of beautiful noises, bleating, throwing, and learning.
(snicker....snort...gaggle...giggle....Actually, we had a great day in homeschool....I just felt like being funny tonight....
Though my "pass off of campus" has, in fact, been granted! I'm headed to dinner with a new book.....and I'll probably return. snicker)
Have a good night ya'll....Andrea
And...dangalang..if you are out there..leave me a comment!
So I TOTALLY do not buy into the "homeschooled kids are not socialized"
(in general at least. I know there are exceptions in extreme cases, just like there are exceptions to being 'over'-socialized' on the other side of coin)
This isn't necessarily about "the socialization of homeschooled kids".... k?
What I would like advice about is:
"How much time do your kids spend, outside of school, with friends?" (this is specificially geared towards kids ages 12 + ....)
Our family's take on in it is probably different than the average American family.
We feel strongly that "heart-ties" are created, tightened and sealed in the first three seasons of life....the baby stage, the "kid" stage, and the "pre-teen" stage.
("Homecourt Advantage" by Leman addresses alot of our thoughts)
Our kids, starting around age 6, or so, are in sports, community activities ..... all kinds of stuff really, they attend Sunday school....They are very involved....
You kow this if you my blog b/c I am always taking someone somewhere or off to another activity...smile
Where we differ is .... how do I say it?
I guess it would be that we are interested in being a "unit" as often as possible in these early years.
Sure, we have friends over for the kids....They have friendships that they've developed outside of our family...but they are not something we give weekly attention too.
Bi-weekly....probably.
(this means we have kids over bi-weekly but our kids are around age-related peers several times/week. There are just not deep relationships there...just clubs, teams, etc.)
What are the results of this type of outlook, which we've slowly developed and planned our family around the last 5 yrs or so ..??
(once Chase started getting old enough to be overly-involved, invited over everywhere, etc)....
The GOOD:
Our kids are C-L-O-S-E.
Sure, they bicker, etc., but they truly enjoy each other.
They play well, they share common interests, they are have deep conversations (well..as deep as it gets ya know!) they learn together gladly (usually!), and look forward to free time together to play "Star Wars", video games, pillow fights, stair sledding (!) and all sorts of things...
Chase and Trey are very close.
Zane and Tye are very close.
Trey and Aven are inseparable.
Zane idolizes Chase.
Tye benefits from the "tightness" in huge ways.
Chase is learning how to be an honorable young man by acknowleding and helping younger kids, Aven especially, during this very moldable time in his life.
We have thousands of shared memories as a "unit" .....
everything from all of us remembering when Tye first wrote his name, to Chase, occasionally, tucking his little brothers in a night, to Trey being the one to pray the prayer of Salvation with Zane one morning in their bedroom while the rest of the house slept....To Aven having a very tight bond with all four brothers b/c she's with them all the time.
However. I don't think this is exclusive to "our" way of raising a family, necessarily.
I know all kinds of amazing families who function differently than ours and their kids are fantastic.
This "method" has just simple become a natural way of living for us. We are together, as a family unit, ALOT.
The "BAD"?
My kid will never have this conversation: "Yep. We've been friends since elementary school!" (unless we are able to continue a few of the deep relationships they've established...which we are trying ...)
My kids do not get some of the social 'nuances' of their peers. My kids are "behind" there.
Chase, age 12, has started to 'recognize' girls but he really could pretty much care less....He has several female admirers at church and the boy is just clueless. He doesn't even remember their names usually...much to their chagrin.
(and we have some pretty strong parameters in regards to this whole boy/girl stuff anyways...Shouldn't a 12 year being playing basketball and not texting girlfriends?!)
Chase is naturally progressing into a young man...taking an interest in his clothes, his hair, always asking "Mom, is my hair good?" when we leave the house (how cute!)....
But one thing bothers me.
There isn't one super-close friend that Chase has daily contact with other than his brothers.
Does it matter that his closest friend is a "brother" versus a "non-family member"?
(I know there's a 3 year age difference between Chase and Trey, but Trey's a bit bright so they are able to share similar interests, school lessons, etc...in "Peer" age they are very close)
So.
Is this wrong?
Should a 12 year old have a BFF outside the family?
(I think this may also have to do with the sheer fact that....Chase is a boy! From what I see in Aven, the girl will have 14 BFF's by age 5 and will know all their phone numbers and favorite colors! )
Even if Chase did have a "BFF", we wouldn't allow tons of outside activity. He's 12.
He needs his Dad right now more than anyone...Or someone with a strong male influence to guide him through the next rocky years.
thoughts?
(Oh. We realize that the heart-strings will be pretty durn tight by mid-teen years...15/16 and we will be excited and happy to watch our children blossom into independent teens with more freedoms at that point...as long as there is a good amount of trust of course...
My main question deals with this pre-teen time...12-14 or so....)
And even if you have raised a pre-teen yet, I'd value your input. That's the great thing about blogging...All kinds of different life experiences and opinions are available at the touch of a button!
Andrea I swear. We really are not that "whacky"....Odd, maybe! Oh my poor kids. hehe
(This is my new ROCKIN' Etsy skirt!!! We were headed out on a date night last night and I made Jim take my pic...that skirt is just TO MUCH!!! Those are hand-sewn flowers that made a small bustle in the back...Fun!)
Well, I've been oh-so-busy following an almost 2 yr old Aven around my house making sure she doesn't hurt, maim, scream, fall, grab a knife, or topple tables!!!!
The girl is in FULL THROTTLE mode from morn' to night! 'xhaustin' I say!
Anyways....
I can't believe I haven't blogged since WEDNESDAY?!!!
Have you all just been desperately awaiting my next post (eye roll, shoulder shrug, and a toothy smile...)
I've missed my keyboard and my brain is screaming...."WRITE Andrea....PURGE....It's getting full in here!"
Ok Brain. Here goes....
I feel like I want to talk about "diligence". I've really had to work on that this week.
It's been one of those weeks where...
I've had to FORCE myself to:
be nice (shocking I know...hehe)
to keep my house together...
to drive again...though only with Jim in the car still....I'm still a nervous-mervous driving.
to attend the doctor appointments I need but don't want....
play the "Catch Up" in school 'game'...ugh...hate playing catch-up...way more fun to be ahead.
to staying on top of the boys' daily chores ... it'd be SO much easier to ignore them for a few days! (the chores...not the boys...chuckle)
consistent with Aven's parenting....It's be SO much easier just to let her walk on top of the kitchen table like she wants to .... or to just get her juice when she screams "juice now Mommy!"....
focused on Tye's subtle yet sometimes outright malicious tendencies which have flared this week...maybe I just ignore them...they will go away? (hhhmmmm...no.)
involved with my kids....like playing games, having good, long conversations, having dinners at the table each night (even if it is carry-in!).....
SIGH and LORD HAVE MERCY!!!!!
Sometimes....it just all adds up to me, really, just wanting to throw my hands up, sit on the couch, and eat potato chips!
Not so much in frustration...just....with the overwhelming complexities life I guess?
(and we, really, have NO major "problems"...kwim? We have friends, IRL and cyber, who are struggling with REAL stuff like cancer, finances, marriage issues....and here I am just wanting to eat potato chips till I'm green over...well...easy stuff!! )
But, for us, it is what it is...and....
During these "potato chip" times...I have to remind myself that...
"I don't have the FREEDOM to sit on the couch and eat potato chips right now" (danngit)
I guess I'm not that intelligent, because this way of thinking really works with me!! I can easily trick myelf??!! hehe
I guess I am good at either tricking or convincing myself that my adult responsibilities, even though "I DON'T WANNA!" ..... have to be done if at all possible.
It is where the rubber hits the road I think...It sorta defines adulthood doesn't it?!
If it is physically possible...sometimes...well...ya just gotta suck it up and do it....especially if kiddos are involved....
Do the dishes.
Play the "UNO" game again for the fourth time that afternoon.
Talk about the newly attained level on "Mario Brawl" that one totally doesn't understand but which is quite important to 12 year olds.
Listen to a 9 yr old play the same song on the guitar...over...and over...and over....
Figure out dinner even though you didn't get to the store last week with a meal plan...so you are scratching it out every night. (thank God for Chinese delivery...and pizza...and Taco Bell!)
Put the "too big" shoes on the 2 year old's favorite baby doll every 4 minutes.
Smile when the husband says, "So what did you do today?" instead of hitting him.
Listen to a 6 yr old discuss the entricies of "Star Wars episode IV"...when one doesn't have a stinkin' clue what the heck the plot of that movie is....but he wants you to pick your favorite character anyways.
For the 23rd time that day, say, "No. Use your words better please" to a struggling 6 yr old who truly believes he's in charge.
To allow the two year old girl to clop, loudly, around in Momma's high heels until the entire household is cringing...
So.....ONCE all that is done.....
THEN....it can be "potato chip" time.....
till then....Let's chose to the ride the waves, tides, peaks, valleys, and cobblestone roads of daily life....
Cuz it's an honor....there will be plenty of time to eat potato chips later....
NO...Everyone stop rolling their eyes, gasping, and saying "I told you so!"....
The adoption paperwork is NOT for another child....though, if the Lord turned our hearts that way again we would never say no...of course!
The paperwork is to "naturalize" our adopted children's legal documents.
Essentially, to turn them into "American" documents versus Russian, Chinese, and Guatemalan.
It was a funny moment when we met with the sweet lady lawyer today.
She just kept looking at it all...repeatedly flipping through it...trying to make sense...
She was, sweetly, mesmerized by this stack of our children's history that we'd handed her...
BirthMomma signatures written quickly yet obviously with alot of weight...
abandonement decrees documenting who "found" the (OUR!) baby...
NOTHING in English...but plenty of Russian, Chinese, and Spanish...
odd raised seals...odd stamps on everything....that we had prayed and cried for!....(these stamps and seals indicate 'approval' usually)
a picture of Tye ran in the local Chinese paper b/c Chinese law requires abandoned children to be "advertised" for any family to come get them....it's a VERY sad page of old newspaper...a dozen babies..."looking" to be found....sigh.
Three U.S. Certicates of Citizenship which we are very proud of....Each with a picture of the "new citizen" prominately displayed for all to see....
A Chinese Passport... A Guatemalan Passport... A Russian Passport...
And several other documents that Jim and I, and our family, fought tooth-and-nail to obtain......FINAL adoption decrees, Birth Certificates with our names on them as the adoptive parents of three amazing children....
I could go on.
(I do want to point out that all of our adoptions are 'complete', 'legal', and recognized by the US...this is just something that we doing to make the kids' paperwork more clear...and Guatemalan law does require us to do this I think...Russia and China did not)
It's a lot to sift through...
But...We've sifted through these piles for the last 10 years. We "understand" these unusual documents.
This sweet lady lawyer...Well....She was overwhelmed!
However, just something about her....probably the way she said she was 'honored' to help us with this....
I just know she'll figure it all out....and IN TIME for us to snag Aven a passport for our visit to Guatemala in April!
So....with all of this going on....
The other day Chase, casually, said...
"Mom, Trey said something funny last night when we were talking in bed. We were talking about whether I would rather live with my birthmom or here and Trey said 'Duh, Chase, you wouldn't understand the language over there! It's sound like bleeblupsls sdludsst to you'....."
Huh? They were talking about Chase wondering about where he'd like to live?
I've known this type of thinking was coming...I've been, mentally, prepared for him to have these thoughts...for they are SO very natural and healthy I think....
But, as always!, the child caught me off guard!
Chase was more interested in conveying Trey's funny comment....or...now that I write it all out...
Maybe that WAS Chase's way of bringing it up with me.
We are all so very honest about it but he's TWELVE! I'm sure some things are difficult for him to brooch with us for he's not sure of our response...though we are...he doesn't know this for certain in his 12-yr old head yet....kwim?
Maybe the humor was his way of slowly putting "it" out there.
I, again, whispered a prayer for wisdom and right words...and said...
"That's funny Chase...but you know you'd speak Russian if you'd never come here!!
Chase, it's completely natural for you to be thinking of Miss Irina and what life would be like in Russia.
I'm proud of you for your thoughts.
However, sweetie, God fixed your path to become our precious first son. You are supposed to be ours now my love....So, sorry, you are completely stuck with us! And if you weren't, I'd be a wreck."
He laughed, reached up and patted my back....and then went on to the next thing in his day.
So....
I "think" I handled it okay? One never REALLY knows in these situations...
But...I know God knows our parental hearts about this stuff.
God knows we want to be open, honest, transparent....but protective, possessive, and dominant in our children's lives....
So....this adoption journey never ends...Thank Goodness! Cuz it's a blast...
I think it takes a "non-adult" brain to do this stuff!!!
I know it's "tissue"...
But...Zane...He said it was "ART".
I completely, wholeheartedly, without compromise NOW agree with my son.
It. Is. Art. (smile)
My intense Artist...
Come one people!!! Just look at the balance, that spatial alignment, that triangular symetry...
teehee...Now...WATCH this! (creative??!! maybe?? ignore the screamin' Momma...I got in trouble afterwards by my 9 yr old...I was just SO impressed!)
Yes, my 9 yr old is OBSESSED (read: berseerk) about "illusions".
We, truly, don't want to introduce the whoe "magic" element into our home...
Our Trey understands that it is not "magic" but an illusion...which makes it all the more fun for him.
This next video...I tricked Trey...for a bit...into telling me why I made him mad...smile...
Okay...On to the next Illusion..Watch close!
I LOVE the creativity my kids are learning.
I don't take much credit.
Honestly.....It's the TIME they are allowed to pursue their interests.
I KNOW homeschool isn't for "right" way to educate every child....
It is WRONG for some kids...I get it...
But for THESE kids...It's perfect.
It gives them, and us, the time to pursue our passions, to get their necessary therapies in, and to be a family each and every day with smiles, laughter, and, even, oddities!!! chuckle...
EVERY family can accomplish this...regardless of their educational choices....
Of that I truly have no doubt (though a large section of the homeschool community feels differently...ugh)...
But for MY family....with the skins WE live in....THIS is truly an answer to prayer.
I am honored to have these types of days...
with or without panic attacks!!! (does that even makes any sense??!!!)
